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Filling empty spaces . . .
Ever feel like you’ve got an empty space inside that you just can’t seem to fill? I mean, if I stopped you right now and asked you, “How are you doing?” More than likely you’d respond, “I’m just fine.” Fine? Hmmm? Really?
I remember watching Aron Ralston’s interview on the TODAY show on December 8th. Do you remember him? He was the young daredevil solo climber who 6 years ago fell into a crevasse while climbing in the Utah mountains. He dislodged an 800-pound bolder in the process that crushed his right arm, pinning him 
to the canyon wall. After 6 agonizingly lonely days with no hope of rescue (because he didn’t tell anyone where he was going), he managed to extricate himself by breaking both bones in his arm and sawing through the remaining flesh and tendons with his dull multitool. Yes, and obviously he lived to tell about it in his book, Between a Rock and a Hard Place.
But what was he doing out there . . . all alone?
“The psychology of why I was doing the things I was doing is very complex,” he said. “A lot of it has to do with trying to fill up a void of esteem in my life and to accomplish things.” He went on to explain in an interview with the NY Times:
“It was the experience of risk for the sake of self-discovery. I had these insecurities of really if I was adequate enough, if I was good enough, if I was good at anything. And then in order to feel something, I had to be in riskier environments.”
Aron pushed the limits of his climbing to try and find something riskier that would finally dislodge an empty craving deep inside and bring a sense of inner fulfillment. He thought mountain climbing would do that. It didn’t.
Many people do that. No, let me change that. All of us do that. Oh, you may object to that because you are not out there obviously risking death like Ralston by attempting to be the first man to climb all of Colorado’s 14,000-foot peaks solo . . . during the winter no less. No, not you. But could it be that you’ve simply chosen, some lesser peaks?
For most of us, our “fillers” are less dramatic than Aron’s, but they function the same way. Things like accomplishments, awards, affluence, influence, accumulation of wealth, prestige, position, power, how well you marry, how well your kids are doing, how full your day planner is, or your little black date book. In the end, it’s all an attempt to fill an empty crevasse deep within that only God can fill.
A woman in the 1st century who was thirsty for more than water (thirst is another word for the emptiness inside that we crave to fill) sat at a well and listened to an offer from Jesus that sounded too good to be true:
“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14).
What Jesus offered to her just wasn’t the best spring water around. It was the only life-giving water around. It wasn’t about water. It was about life. The real deal. And what’s so amazing it that Jesus is still making the same offer to us.
So, tell me, are you thirsty? Empty? What have you been using to fill your emptiness? Would you like a better offer?
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I have felt a kinship with the woman at the well. Didn’t think it had anything to do with my hoarding behavior. I can see the connection. It is being filled with the water of life, much more than her past life-style. I have been using compulsive shopping and hoarding of stuff purchased as an idol, protection to keep me safe rather than trusting in God for my security. I have just discovered these connections and confessed this sin to Christ. He has forgiven me. Now begins the process of renewal and clearing out the basement of hoarded stuff as I learn to trust God for my security and protection.
I have been single for many many years and I keep praying that God will send me a mate to spend the ret of my life with, but He seems to be ignoring my prayers. My parents, brother, aunts and uncles are all gone now so I feel so all alone. Why is God not hearing my prayers? Why do I have to be so alone in this world?
Bonnie I feel your pain. My wife had an affair and left me 10 years ago to raise our children on my own. I’ve dedicated my life to doing that and now that they are gone, my life has been left with a void. The loneliness I feel hurts. I have also prayed for many years that God would send someone into my life but it seems those words don’t leave the room. It’s left me feeling bitter and wondering whether or not God even cares.
In my profession I help someone everyday and yet it seems theres no help for me. I’m tired of being lonely and I’m at the point of just giving up on everything. I can’t continue living like this forever.
It’s strange to me how even after decades of trying to follow the LORD I can still feel that void…why is that? I don’t think it was like that at the first part of my journey with Him.
Perhaps it has come back on me because I have put too much effort into trying to make heaven on earth and having a wrong idea about what we are on this planet for? Trying to keep my kids from the heartache of living on this earth? Thinking that once you are a Christian things are supposed to be ‘all good”?
I think I miss God…I’m not really sure how to walk out the relationship with Him. I know the part about reading the Bible, praying, etc. but I want to feel close to Him and He so often feels distant.
To answer your question: Yes, I am thirsty…empty, lonely and need more of Him…but am not sure how to get from here to there…and sometimes am fearful that I will eventually be overcome by temptations to fill the vacuum with things other than Him.
P.S. praying for the folks on this page…
Please don’t give up…there are people’s lives you will reach…and God is not finished with you (or me) yet…
Hang on…I will pray that God gives you hope today….Emily, Bonnie & Dave
As Tim said above..we are all wanting and desiring that “overflowing water” where we will no longer thrist and we keep looking for it in the wrong places..the worldly things..when the answer is always Jesus and God’s Word to fill us to overflow..”my cup runneth over”..I remember after my husband died I was working at home and I heard on the radio the scripture “Delight in the Lord and HE will give you the desires of your heart” and I stopped and thought “what is the desire of my heart”? and I started to cry so hard and I said “Lord, you wont give me the desire of my heart because it’s to have my husband back” and I heard in my heart/head “that is not the true desire of your heart, Follow Me and I will show you what it is”….it ended up being HIM, Jesus who is closer than a brother, the lover of my heart and soul. I looked up the definition of “Delight”, in Delight in the Lord..that was given first..I must learn to love, delight, be excited about, honor Jesus and his word first. Make HIM first in my life and all else will follow. The end result is that we will be so filled with “His water” to the overflow onto others..”Give away your life (to others) and you will get your life”. Follow Jesus’ example of giving to others. “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will come unto you”..when the Love of God is shed abroad in your hearts you can not do anything else but give it away to those around you! Love is what we are all looking for in the end and Jesus’ Love is the only one that fills those empy spaces..not earthly things or people, they will go away but Jesus and our Loveing Father will never leave us. I know this is true because it happened to me and the joy it brought is undiscribable! try it you’ll love it.
CJ..we all have down times and bad tings happen to us because we live here in the midst of a dying, sinful world..with evil all around us. Jesus said “we would have tribulations on the earth”..it rains on the just and the unjust. The diffence between us “believers, children of God” is not a lack of tribulation or sorrows but that we have a loving God to get us through them and He “turns those things into good for those who love Him”. God’s word also says “He inhabits (or lives in) the praises of His people”, give thanks in all things, Praise Him, thank Him for all your blessings. I sometimes put on praise music and raise my hands and praise Him and thank Him everyday for all my blessings for His love and salvation and that helps me feel His presence and joy. We must learn to think on “things above”, good things, Him insead of dwelling on the bad things of life and do all we can to reach out to all those who are less fortunate than we are and there are plenty of them. Give Thanks and Praise! God is good and Love!