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Healing the Hidden Wounds of War
On Saturday, July 10, 2010, President Obama announced in his weekly radio address that the VA is implementing a streamlined process for helping veterans get the much needed help for what has been identified as “the signature injuries of today’s wars”–PTSD and traumatic brain injuries (TBI). Vets will no longer be required to document a specific traumatic event as “the cause” of their battle with PTSD. This change gives weightiness to the reality that almost all vets from past and current wars have been well aware of–you don’t have to be engaged in a firefight with the enemy to endure the trauma of war. War leaves a mark.
Lt. Col. Dan Nigolian, a 26-year USAF retired chaplain, agrees. Nigolian came home after 5 deployments–3 special opps, 1 in Iraq, and his last in Afghanistan–and was shocked to be diagnosed with both PTSD and TBI. He’d never considered that being shot down in an airplane and blown up in a convoy as events that left invisible wounds where there were no obvious physical wounds. Nigolian shares about the “buddy care” training that all military personnel get prior to a deployment. He reminds vets who come home that the war isn’t over and you’re not done caring for your buddies just because you back on US soil. “You are as responsible to take care of your buddy at home during the PTSD war as you were overseas during the shooting war.”
And the same is true for family members of returning vets who see the red flags of PTSD in their loved ones. Things like sleeplessness, depression, drinking too much, angry outbursts, can’t hold a job, relationships are suffering, isolating himself or herself from the world, reckless behavior, not taking care of herself or himself . . . to name a few. They need help. And you need to help them get help.
Check out the PTSD portion of the HelpForMyLife.org website for helpful video and written resources that will get you and your loved one on the path to healing the invisible wounds of war. Our DVD, The War Within, has been a source of help and encouragement to many who have been reluctant to get help. Don’t wait, and please don’t struggle alone.
God has reassured us repeatedly throughout His Word that He will never leave us or forsake us (Heb. 13:5). In the same manner, we are called to love one another the way God has loved us (John 13:34). Be there for your spouse, parent, brother, sister or friend who has brought the war home with them. Stand with them and see them through this healing journey with the hidden wounds of war.
If this has been helpful to you, feel free to post a comment and let us hear your story of bringing the war home and how you’re getting or giving help.
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This was timely. I received a call from my sister-in-law last night regarding behaviors she is seeing in my brother (a vet) in the past week. He does not want help, nor does he think he needs it. His behavior has been shifting slowly off of his wife and children and onto himself. Last week he screamed at his wife, in front of the boys, that he was going to punch her in the face if she did not shut up and do exactly what he was telling her to do. His violence was escalating. Then suddenly he moved into the garage. Literally moved in and is sleeping in there on an old army cot, washing up in the hose outside the garage, and has been building a fire in a pit he created and is cooking and eating all of his food by the pit. He’s even defacating and urinating in the yard. His wife and kids were somewhat relieved because he’s no longer tormenting them inside the home.But also freaked out by what he’s doing. He rarely speaks to them. Last night when his wife tried to go out and talk to him he suddenly seemed calm and and spoke clearly and almost kindly. She said she couldn’t understand the shift, but was grateful. About a half hour later her youngest boy came to her and wanted to leave. He said that dad was acting weird and he was scared. She asked what he was doing to scare him and he said that he’d walked by the bathroom and his dad was in there singing and smiling and that he was shaving his head in the mirror. She went to see what was going on and sure enough he was shaving his head with a straight razor into a mohawk, and smiled at her and said hi honey, needed a haircut. Do you like it? Then he went on singing.
This scares the heck out of me. This is not my brother. The shift of behavior is just so out there.
Is it just strange or is there something really wrong? If he does not want or think he needs help, what can his wife do. She’s afraid and desperately wants to leave with the kids, but she’s afraid to do so. I just don’t know where else to get information on this. I believe he suffers from ptsd, and have for years but don’t know if this is a sign of it or something else.
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
Dear invisible, this is definitely ptsd. Your husband needs help from a professional. He may also be suffering from Bi-polar disorder. If he has any good friends that he served with you need to get a hold of his or them so they can help you talk to your husband. He will never admit to you or maybe even himself that he needs help. But he does, I know this because I work with veteran’s and I always tell them to Please Please get evaluated for PTSD. Don’t wait till it’s too late and he does something he would never do if he had seen WAR. Please know he still loves you and the kids and may not even remember what he has done. If it happens again you may want to call the closest VA hospital and see what they can do to help you. I would call now if you can. Above all else pray to God and ask Him for His help. Your husband is a hero in my eyes, but right now I’m sure you don’t see it. Get help from the VA. They are the ones that can really help you, as well as God.
God Bless you and keep you, your husband and children safe.
Kathleen