Tags
RBC Online Resources
The Battlefield of My Heart
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18).
“A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all . . . the LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.” (Ps. 34:19, 22)
As I read these words this morning, I was struck with their force–”brokenhearted,” “crushed in spirit” and “many troubles.” They pushed me to ask the question: How often do I really see the battle for my heart?
For me–and my guess it’s true for you too–it’s so easy to slip into the normal routine of daily living–alarm goes off, get up, hit the shower, make coffee and eat, go to work, come home, eat again, do chores, pay bills, or relax, hit the sack and get up and do it all over again.
Normal. Routine. Nothing horrific. Nothing epic. Just daily stuff. You know the drill.
But when I read those words of David in Psalm 34 (and there are many others), I get the sensation that there’s a battle going on, and it’s a battle for my heart.
I know what a battlefield looks like. I’ve watched The Patriot, Gettysburg, Saving Private Ryan, The Pacific, The Hurt Locker. Those were battlefields.
I’ve stood on the fields of Gettysburg where the Union and Confederate armies clashed in 1863 in America’s Civil War. In just 3 fateful days that hot July, the bodies and blood of over 57,000 men who were killed, mortally wounded, or missing stained that “hallowed ground.” That’s a battlefield.
But my heart, a battlefield? Really?
Do you ever think of your heart being a battlefield?
If the Bible is true, then Jesus’ words of warning must not be minimized or ignored:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10)
So what’s he (and it’s clear from the context that Jesus means Satan is the thief, the Enemy of God and us) stealing, killing, and destroying? Our hearts. Our lives. All that Jesus came to redeem.
So, some of the questions for each of us who align ourselves with God and who have been targeted by the Evil One are these:
- Do you recognize that your heart is a battlefield?
- Are you protecting your heart?
- How are you protecting your heart?
Now it’s your turn. Please share with the rest of us what you’re doing to “gear up” for the battle for your heart. Remember: we’re all in this together.
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...31 Responses to “The Battlefield of My Heart”
leave a comment
I am in a hospital now. Tired, drained physically and emotionally; trying to keep vigil with my dad as he struggles to breathe
Is my heart a battlefield? Yes it is I am filled with so many emotions at any given instance.
What am I doing about it? Surfing the net to find some comfort or strength to keep me going.
Jessica,
I know where you’re at. I was in the same place with my mom just 15 short weeks ago. It feels so helpless, doesn’t it? But God directed you to us, to this blog today. Why? Because He knows you’re in a battle and you needed someone whose been there to share an encouraging word. You see, Jessica, you’re not alone. God is with you, He loves you, and He will fight for you. Lean into Him. Psalm 34 and 62 have become precious to me. My prayers are with you, for strength and comfort because your presence with your father not only honors him but let’s him know he’s loved and not alone.
This Battlefield is known to me. Although I have known the Lord for many years, I have never been immune from the war that attemps to destroy all the blessings my Heavenly Father provides for myself and my son. I have battled Chronic pain and endured two bowel resections, multiple complications including blot clots that almost ended my life, and now suffer major complications from receiving transfusions that were meant to help the Crohn’s disease. I was told I would never conceive a child, but the Lord blessed my life with a son, who I know is a true miracle. We have lived without his father since he was 16 months old, as my ex-husband persued a homosexual lifestyle, fame, and greed. My son has seen his biological father twice in his life, my Son is now 19. Left without a home, any income, and $ 400.00 a month in child support, my faithfull God gave me the strength to persue careers, even though I am not educated, and blessed us with income enough to support us both. Now at 48 my body had said no, and we face a time of great uncertainty. The Lord has blessed me with a sister who bought a home for us to live in and provided enough help so that we could live independently. I know my God has blessed me, no matter what it looks like in the natural. Our troubles have not ended as the enemy seeks to destroy my Son, but vigilant prayer has kept my faith in him, who is the creator of all. I am not consumed by these struggles, as I reflect on what Jesus suffered on the cross, my faith is in my Savior, my Redeemer. As difficult as times have been, and as lost as I’ve felt, Jesus always stays with me, he sees me and knows, he hears my every prayer and has remained faithful throughout. I had asked the Lord to reveal how I was to learn to Love Him more, and he has shown me that regardless of what I have or have not, not matter what the circumstance, he Loves me, and us so previously that he Never let’s go of his children. I Love you more Lord, for being in control of my life and for giving me the strength to endure every trial and tribulation. Through this I have gleaned insight into what “Jesus” sacrifice meant on a personal, and deeper level. I seek the Lord daily, and will Love him until he receives me, faithful until the end, he holds my every breath in the palm of his Loving hand, and I am grateful for his sacrifice, his everlasting Love.
The living Word is our first defense. Our most high treasure and prize. Psalms is a good starting place to find Words to help us guard our hearts. I have a son who does not speak to me and refuses to let me see my new granddaughter. I guard my heart by giving the battle to the Lord and blessing my son and loving that sweet little girl from afar. One day I am promised redemption and restoration if I am standing in rightness with Our Creator, I am studying and reading His word for all my comfort and joy. This is the best way I guard my heart. Jessica I will pray for you and your father. Shalom (peace) and love to you and yours.
April, you are so right. I hear echoes of Paul’s words in 2 Cor. 1:8-11 in your words where he ends his comments about the pressures and hardships that ransacked his heart with this encouragement: “. . . that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope . . .” Jesus is our only hope.
Bonnie, thank you for your encouraging words to a dear sister. And my God strengthen your heart today as He gives you peace and strength to continue faithfully loving from a distance.
YEAH I’M IN THIS SAME BATTLE. I LOST A DAUGHTER LAST MAY BY MISCARRIAGE AND THIS PAST JUNE I DELVERED MY SON 3 MONTHS EARLIY. HE IS STILL IN THE HOSPITAL AND SATAN IS WORKING OVER TIME TO KEEP HIM FROM COMING HOME.IF IT WASNT FOR THE LOVE AND WORD OF GOD I WOULD HAVE LOST ALL HOPE ALREADY. JESUS MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.
My heart is in a battlefield right now for the healing of my marriage and family. Been married 25 years but my husband is “not here” with me any more. He’s found solace back “in the world” again. I’ve tried for 4 years to tell him how I feel but to no avail. I cry out to God for my marriage and our 11 year old son who sees all. My cry to the Lord this morning was from Psalm 51 – “a broken and contrite spirit I will not despise.” My heart is deeply broken and the enemy stands their waiting to devour us all! But God is still there!!!
God is an awesome God indeed. I am 38 weeks pregnant with my third child. Married to a man who has lost his job for the past two years. To support the family, I moved to live and work abroad where my parents live with my two kids. I am back here in the USA to deliver my son and also be close to my husband. Financially we are struggling. We basically live from hand to mouth. By Gods good grace my job still pays me whilst I am away till I have the baby. I have been sitting here crying for the past hour asking God why we are going through all these tribulations (battlefield). Gods silent voice just prompted me to read my daily devotion on http://www.odb.com and i have just stumbled on this blog. I wept again after reading the first few stories and realized that my situation may not be so bad after all. I am still asking God to grant my husband a job and also to give me the strength to be the sole bread winner till things fall in place. God has always been my helper in times of need and I know he will continue to bless my life till I meet him in heaven. I need others to pray with me if possible. The devil is a liar and we are going to win this battle through Christ who strengthens us. Please help me pray for safe delivery of this baby and also that my husband finds a job as we move out of the USA by end of October.
I have just read my daily devotion from http://www.odb.org and amazingly its a story about the Isrealites on a battlefield in Egypt. I thought I would share with you all. Verses 13 and 14 are my favoutite.
Exodus 14
1 Then the LORD said to Moses, 2 “Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon. 3 Pharaoh will think, ‘The Israelites are wandering around the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert.’ 4 And I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD.” So the Israelites did this.
5 When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, “What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!” 6 So he had his chariot made ready and took his army with him. 7 He took six hundred of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them. 8 The LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt, so that he pursued the Israelites, who were marching out boldly. 9 The Egyptians—all Pharaoh’s horses and chariots, horsemen[a] and troops—pursued the Israelites and overtook them as they camped by the sea near Pi Hahiroth, opposite Baal Zephon.
10 As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD. 11 They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? 12 Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”
13 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
D.C. Keep up the fight. While your husband may have given in to the lies of the Evil One, guarding your heart (Prov. 4:23) with the truth of God’s enduring love. Surrounding yourself with family and friends who love you as well as the Lord will also help strengthen you when you feel like you don’t have the strength to go on. Bless you for your faithfulness.
Beena, We’ll be happy to pray for you, the safe delivery of your 3rd child and for your husband to secure a job that will provide for your family. In the mean time, we also praise God that you have a viable job and that God has given you the endurance to work while being pregnant. Way to go. Your commitment to being a team player with your husband in caring and providing for your family is commendable. He’s a blessed man.
I commend my brothers and sisters in Christ, Jessica, D.C., Mia Bonnie and April for sharing your stories of your battles that you are in right now and those that you have become triumphant over, only through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I want to share this scripture with you as well, II Chronicles 20: 15b, “Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God’s. I too have had battles and still have have battles. Now, this present battle is that son has Lukemia and it is a daily battle of the heart to keep strong for him. However, I know that my strength does not lie within myself, but it is trusting the Lord with all my heart and my strength. That is how we keep strong. I am praying that God will touch you all in a special way. And, remember the battle is not yours, but it’s the Lord’s!
Hello Tim,
You are so prayerful and encouraging to others. I pray God’s blessings of favor on you to continue to keep up the good work and fight the good fight.
I did not guard my heart well and now it is lost.
Francine, bless you for sharing the truth from your Heavenly Father that you cling to in this battle for your heart and the heart of your son. May you see God power and feel His presence with you as you walk alongside your precious son. We’ll pray for a renewal of strength in both heart and body for his battle with Lukemia.
Margie, thanks for your kind words. You are an encouragement to me. Thank God we’re never alone in this battle!
Joel, Thanks for the courage to post. It’s easier to post about a victory than a defeat, than when you feel like you’re drowning. Thanks for being real. And I’ve got to tell you, Joel, all of us have been where you’re at. Seriously. Sometimes we “feel” and even “think” that our hearts are lost because we feel helpless and foolish because of the hole we’re in (especially when it’s a hole we made ourselves). The Evil One keeps pushing that lie in our face, making it tough to ignore.
But the good news is that being brokenhearted (or poor in spirit as Jesus called it in Matt. 3:3) is just further evidence that we need God. We simply can’t pull it off our own. If we could, God would be totally unnecessary. Instead, He’s indispensable to any of us getting through and eventually out of the current mess we’re in. He’s the King of our hearts and He will fight for us . . . especially when we’ve had the stuffing kicked out of us by Satan. Remember Psalm 34:18 says He’s close to the brokenhearted. Ironic, isn’t it. God is closer to you now than ever, even when you feel like your heart is lost. That’s a fact. Trust Him, Joel. He will pick you up and place your feet on solid ground. David reminds us of God’s commitment to restoring our hearts: “. . .he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand” (Ps. 40:1-2). Cry out to Him. And find others who can support and encourage you to keep moving when you don’t feel like you can go on. We just can’t do it alone.
I’m 37, and my husband is 38. We’ve been married for two years, and we are trying to have a child. We have had a few hopeful times only to be crushed when the months pass and we are not expecting.
It is so easy to be caught up in ‘trying’ for a baby; there are many things that I can (and am even encouraged) to do, such as taking my temperature or taking an over-the-counter ovulation predictor kit to pinpoint the best timeframe. My cycles are irregular due to a hormone imbalance, and while I am on medication to regulate it, we are still waiting.
Today has been a frustrating day, and this morning I got on my knees and prayed in sort of a wordless mental groan. I’m thankful that God hears me and knows the state of my heart when I can’t even put it into words.
Part of me wonders if all these ‘activities’ such as taking my temperature are just satan’s tools to get my eyes off God and put the attention on my efforts. I am scared that God is saying ‘no’ instead of ‘not yet’, and I have no peace. I know exactly what my personal Gettysburg feels like…
I’m trying not to second guess God; after all, He is the giver of good gifts and knows the plans He has for us. However I’m scared if I ‘let go’ we will never have a child. Such a silly fear, considering God is the giver of life…He is the one who decides, not us.
satan also throws in my face that if I hadn’t mistreated my body when I was younger, I wouldn’t have the hormonal imbalance. I usually throw it back, saying that my God created those hormones and He is bigger than that, and that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus!
I know that all of this will be for God’s glory when it’s all said and done, but from moment to moment it’s trench warfare. A dear friend and pastor’s wife ‘fired’ herself from church planting when it became clear that all their earthly strategies did not work, and she gave the battle to God. I’m thinking I ought to fire myself from trying to conceive as well. However 2 Cor 1:9 struck me: “Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.” I definitely feel the ‘sentence of death’, but I’m encouraged to be reminded that God ‘raises the dead.’
Melissa, Thanks for sharing. Getting pregnant is often not as easy for many as it seems it should be. I know. It was 8 years before my wife and I got pregnant the first time. It felt like forever. The charting, the temp taking, the waiting just takes an emotional toll (not to mention it takes all the fun out of it). And the anxiety over the waiting can be deeply discouraging. However, we were encouraged to relax and give it time. Being attentive, informed and doing what you can do with the temperature charting and tracking is being responsible, not a lack of faith. But leaving the timing and the results in God’s hands demonstrates faith. God is the life-giver and you can trust Him. Praying that God will bless both you and your husband with a baby in the near future. As you wait for His timing, may your hearts be drawn to Him and to one another even more.
In the last year I have been thru discovering my husband cheated on me and was using meth…let him come home after he straightened up and got a job only to find out thru a work physical that he had a heart problem requiring open heart surgery. He was operated on in May, went thru weeks of recovery with me having to care for him even though I hadn’t fully dealt with the betrayal of the affair….that finally came to a head last month when we separated briefly…all thru this however I felt that God was telling me that this marriage wasn’t over that I needed to keep trying, keep praying for my husband who is still resisting a full committment to God…sometimes its too hard to bear, I want to quit and run away, but I have been blessed with good Christian friends and my Lord Jesus who just keeps telling me to persevere and stay in the race even though the pain is excruciating at times….this blog has been very inspirational for me, thank you…….
Leslie, The gift of love that you’ve offered to your husband is beautiful, regardless of how he responds. I pray that he invites God to do the kind of “heart surgery” that is needed to transform his perspective on life, love, and relationship with you. Continuing to take matters into his own hands will be nothing more than a downward spiral. May God be your strength and shield of protection as you make the courageous and painful decisions about what honoring God and loving your husband well looks like. Bold Love is a book by counselor Dan Allender that I think you would find helpful and encouraging as you seek to become all the woman of God that He’s calling you to be, even in a difficult marriage that sometimes feels impossible to bear. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Thanks, Tim, I’ll be on the way home soon.
Joel, Awesome! Welcome to the revolution of our hearts in the name of Jesus.
HI FRANCINE…I THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT.YOU BE ENCOURAGED AS WELL.
A young African man bubbling with zeal for the Lord graduated from university, had the call to full-time ministry and answered the call. Meanwhile he had a picture of what his family and marriage will look like – a heaven on earth (so to say). He went to seminary, got ordained and immediately married someone he barely knew – just met her in the first church he co-pastored, felt she was a committed christian and immediately married her. After he spent a night with her he began to pray that God will forgive him for the mistake, just the second day of marriage. He knew immediately that if he was ever going to remain spiritual or make it in the ministry he was all on his own. His spiritual life nose-dived immediately. His wife didn’t go to a proper secondary school (high school) and couldn’t pass. Though the wife professes spirituality with her lips, her attitude leaves much to be desired. A very long story that cannot be told here. It’s now more than 15 years with three teenagers but the man is in hell. He weeps and mourns everyday, particularly when he thinks of how the relationship affects his children and his ministry. He tried sending her to school to do a diploma but she came back worse. Many times he’s been advised to send her away but he has been praying, crying and looking up to God, especially considering the fact that he is one of the top leaders in his denomination. When he shared his ordeal with an American christian lady some years ago she advised him to quit the marriage. The situation is beyond imagination, beyond description and he is just hanging in there, mourning everyday believing that God will do something. It is an unbelievable situation. That is my battle.
I have been a homemaker for 8 years. I have four children, 8,6,2 and 1. When my husband and I agreed that I would stay home, it was my suggestion he agreed and we had not saved. There was no plan. Through the years I have seen the Lord meet several needs and provide provisions down to childcare during the birth of each child as we have no family near by. However, over the past few months I have been increasing discontent with being a homemaker, doubting the benefits to my family. I know the truth but I can not shake the thoughts that somehow I am throwing my life away. Yes, my heart is a battlefield. I have tried to talk to my husband but he does not offer any help. If it will interfere with preaching, fantasy football, etc. then it is my problem. So the enemy is at war for my heart which will impact the future of my children and future generations. Faithfulness. Commitment. Perseverence. This is my prayer everyday. Lord, please help me to be faithful to you.
L
I’m delighted that you and your husband worked out an initial agreement together regarding you being a stay-at-home mom for your young children. While it is a thankless job on many days, please know that your investment in the lives of your children is priceless. The mark you leave on them (legacy) will last for generations.
However, it’s clear your heart is under assault and in need of buddy-care. First, your husband, who initially committed to being your buddy for life when he married you, is now dropping the ball. And, you feel abandoned.
It also sounded like your husband is a pastor. If that’s true, I want you to know that you are his number 1 ministry. Period. Not the church. If a man is consistently failing at home in being the man God has called him to be as a husband and then a father, then his effectiveness for the Kingdom is greatly compromised. God never called you to be a ministry widow, nor your children to be ministry orphans. It’s about perspective and priorities.
Second, it sounds like you have doubts about your effectiveness as a mom because you feel like you’re spinning your wheels doing such “ordinary” tasks like laundry (lots of laundry with 4 kids), diapers, meals, cleaning up messes, managing schedules, school lunches, and falling into bed exhausted and not looking forward to doing it all again tomorrow morning.
It’s hard to find meaning in the mundane. But faithfulness to God and to your family isn’t measured in huge leaps but in consistent plodding. That’s dependability.
L, I pray God will encourage your heart and nourish your soul with His love. At the same time, you may need to seek the help of a biblical counselor (one outside of your church if your husband is the pastor) to help restore your heart so that you can invite your husband to reengage his heart with God and with you. God’s call to your husband is the same as for every other man: to be the warrior for his bride’s heart more than any one else.
i am battling right now with anxiety and depression…i lost hearing in one ear and now have chronic dizziness and tinnitus. also, my employer has advised that our whole department is being laid off in january and i will be without a job; i have been here for almost 18 years. and it’s the type of work where hearing in both ears is a requirement. i try to be strong; i pray every day and read scripture but feel like i am sinking. please pray for me. thank you and God bless you all.
I am in my fourth year of medical school. It has by far been the hardest challenge of my life. Throughout the course of school we are required to take board exams to eventually get our license to practice medicine. Just a few months ago, I was preparing to take the second part of my board exam. As the date for the exam was approaching, I did not feel exactly comfortable, but I prayed and prayed and God showed me several signs that I should continue on and take the exam. I took it…and failed. While this may not seem that major to many, but when you study from the time that you wake up until the time that you go to sleep, don’t see your family or friends for months at a time and so many other sacrifices that this journey entails, it is devastating. I trusted God so much and I failed. I know that He didn’t promise me a passing grade, He only told me that I should take the exam.
In the meantime, I have had to take time off of school, and for the past month have been stuck in my house preparing yet again for this same exam. For much of my life I have suffered from anxiety problems, and with this situation it has spiraled out of control. Even causing me to doubt my faith in the God that I know has brought me such a long way and the Savior who has comforted in times before. It is like a battle between my mind and my heart and I don’t know what else to do. I pray and cry, cry and pray. It troubles my soul to no end to have these thoughts of doubt. I try to read my bible and just trust in God, but it is so hard. Deep in my heart I know that I believe and I try to remind myself of all of the things that God has brought me through, but it feels like it just not enough sometimes-as if my mind is trying to convince my heart of something else. My heart and my mind are at war and I just pray for the strength to overcome. I cannot fathom the thought of a life without God.
Please pray for me
Tana, you’re up against a huge challenge in med school, and I applaud you for sticking with it.
From what you shared, your particular struggles with doubt also seem to be the handiwork of the evil one and his minions…It’s not just your mind trying to convince your heart…The forces of darkness are battling against you too.
There is no one who wants you to doubt yourself and God more than Satan. Anytime we step out into the world the make a Kingdom difference with gifts and talents God has entrusted us with , it gets the evil one’s attention. And he will step up his efforts to deceive you…to get you believe and agree with all sorts of discouraging and condemning things about yourself and how God doesn’t care about you.
All of that is to say—don’t overlook the enemy of your heart in what you are going through. It takes a while (sometimes a real long time) to see through and untangle yourself from his lies, but you can start to wake up to this aspect of your battle and refuse to agree with his lies. You can start the habit of breaking any agreements you have made with the lies he’s been telling you.
It won’t be easy or happen overnight. That is why we call it warfare. But you can start to gain back and hold ground that the enemy has taken from you over the last year and find that peace and joy and confidence you have been looking for as you realize what the enemy is trying to do to you and that you can resist.
By the way, it’s also encouraging to realize that Jesus prayed for all of us (including you!) who believe in Him…that we would be protected from the evil one (John 17:15).