Truth & Consequences

“But I told the truth!” Through her sobs it was clear that she understood how wrong she was in what she’d done. She’d broken the trust of her husband yet again with another affair. This one she’d managed to keep hidden for the past 5 years.

“I’ll never do it again!” she promised, pleading with him to not follow through with the separation. “I told the truth! Why won’t you believe me?”

In spite of her pleading, her husband had had enough of her lies. She had violated his trust one too many times and this time she lost him for good.

Unfortunately, this scenario is played out in numerous venues and relationships far too often. People who have done something wrong, finally get caught, “tell the truth” after a litany of lies and then are shocked that there are still consequences for their choices.

Some Christians will often respond with indignation, “Why won’t he just forgive her? He needs to show her grace! Jesus came to demonstrate truth and grace (John 1:14) and so should he.”

Somehow this distorted idea has crept into our present value system. What idea? That once I confess to the truth of what I’ve done, that all painful consequences should magically melt away like the dew in the morning sunlight because I “fessed up.” The rationale goes something like this:  “After all, we are to be gracious and forgiving of one another as Christians.” Sounds good. Right?

Sorry. While that may sound biblical, it’s not. A biblical understanding of Truth and Grace is that grace doesn’t exempt us from consequences for foolish choices. Grace means we don’t throw someone away and brand them as worthless.

Forgiveness can be offered to us when we finally confesses to what we’ve done, but what we must also accept is that we may still lose our job, our marriage, our home, our children, our reputation and our friends because of our choices.

Telling the truth doesn’t exempt us from the painful consequences of the truth being known. It’s not Truth or Consequences but Truth And Consequences.

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9 Responses to “Truth & Consequences”

  1. Even david had to pay for his adultery with Bathsheeba. God forgave him but, God still took davids son.David had to pay a consequence for his sinful act.

  2. akin says:

    I just want you O Lord to have mercy upon me…. I can’t live this world of my own…Please Help me Lord

  3. paulawwl says:

    Amen, I’m thankful I found this blog. The consequences must be faced and are always there. The consequences may hurt but can be so freeing.

  4. kuda says:

    Yes, the one who has been hurt may accept the apology but they cant rebuld trust..so the relationship cannot be restored!

  5. Luke says:

    I am praying for rebuilding of trust. I thank God for such a loving wife that is giving me that opportunity again. Please pray for us to be stronger than ever!

  6. Tim Jackson says:

    Luke, yes, you are fortunate to have a wife who loves you and is willing to go the distance to allow you to demonstrate your repentance. Our prayers are with you both.

  7. Rosary Aquino says:

    Good day!

    My husband of 24 years and my best friend of 29 years has been betraying me for four years now. I have learned of the truth from someone. He didn’t tell me the truth, in the past every time I would asked him about it he would deny and would even accused me of being malicious minded and narrow minded. Now, he’s out of our house already. I’m struggling of forgiving him, Sundays upon Sundays our Pastor would preach about forgiving and I would cry out to God to help me but it’s not that easy especially me and my kids would see their photos together on the internet and they seem to be happy while here I am enduring being a single parent and starting all over again. I just came home from my overseas job last March. I worked overseas for seven years. He didn’t only betray me on woman but also on money. The pain is excruciating, very depressing. I know I need to forgive but I just can’t. I want to see them in misery. The most frustrating part is that he used to be a faithful servant of our church. A preacher, an elder, a Sunday school director, our church herald editor. But now he is in total darkness. Sometimes I think that God is so unfair because how come they are still happy, how come there’s no punishment you, how come I am still suffering, especially seeing my 12 year old girl hurting. Please advise me. Thanks for your time reading this. God bless you more.

  8. Tina says:

    Dear Rosary,
    Your case is not exceptional, many people, both male and female have gone though this darkness you are in but if you find out from those who survived it and became victorious, they never gave up. Winning starts with learning to forgive, you can not do that without the help of God. You have to allow him help you, talk to God to melt away the unforgiving spirit, ask him to give you the grace to keep praying for your husband. you can not give up now, keep praying for yourself and for him and you will see that God will never abandon you and the children and he will give you that joy you deserve and help you through this period to a final re-conciliatory moment with your family. Remain in his Love

  9. R says:

    Dear Tina,

    Thanks for your time and for your reply. It is very comforting. It is easier said than done. I know it is only by Gods grace that I can do it. I pray for myself and my kids everyday because as of now that’s the only weapon I have. But I just can’t pray for him. I’m still full of bitterness and hatred that I don’t even want to say his name. I am becoming a slave of this emotion and it’s not healthy. I won’t give up on my kids but I already gave up on him. He was very consistent in telling me that he doesn’t love me anymore. He dumped me. I’m afraid I will bring this feeling on my grave. Thanks again and God bless.

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