Search Results For "abuse"

A Case of Mistaken Identity

Tim Jackson —  September 10, 2012 — 9 Comments

As a counselor, I work within a system that often places a diagnosis label on an individual’s struggles. I frequently hear comments like: “I am a borderline.” “He’s bipolar.” “I’m ADHD.” “I’m an abuse victim.” “I’m an alcoholic.” “She’s OCD.” It’s crazy—not an official diagnosis :-) —to take on a diagnosis as the primary identifier of one’s personhood. I want to scream, “No, you’re not!”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I like codes that unlock doors or allow me access to my computer. A diagnosis can be helpful. I have a little handheld gizmo that I plug into my vehicles that spits out a code, giving me a diagnosis of why the “check engine” light appears on my dash. The code is helpful so that I can determine if this is something minor that I can fix or if it’s a more complex problem that I need to have my mechanic repair.

Fundamentally, the problem is that while there is some truth contained in a diagnosis, a diagnosis doesn’t equal identity. That’s not who we are at the core. But it does describe how we struggle. And there’s a huge difference.

People are not vehicles. We’re not mechanical. We’re personal, living, breathing, feeling, longing, purposeful beings who are made in the image of the invisible God of the universe (Gen. 1:26-27).

Image-bearers. So what difference does that make in real life?

It means the person who was my 4:00 p.m. appointment yesterday isn’t a number, a diagnosis, or a case. She’s a person with a name and a story uniquely all her own. She should never be reduced to a diagnosis code. Yes, she struggles with a particular collection of symptoms that has been given a name, but that diagnostic category is not her name. It’s not her identity. She, like me and you, is a complex conglomeration of inherited tendencies and learned responses that have shaped her story. But underlying everything is her identity as a daughter of Eve who bears the image of the invisible God is at the core of her being.

Knowing that changes the way I see people. I focus more on caring for an individual’s heart, for who he or she really is, and focus less on treating only symptoms or merely correcting aberrant behaviors.

What we all need to remember is that we are not our struggles. Yes, we all do struggle and our struggles are colored by our stories. But we are not defined by our struggles. I know that’s especially hard to remember when we’re feeling overwhelmed in the middle of our pain.

So let’s help each other to remember this: You and me and everyone else we will encounter today is not a diagnosis, a customer number, or the patient in room 201. Each one of us uniquely reflects the image of God. It doesn’t even matter if we believe in Him or not, we all still bear the label of our divine Tailor—made in His image—and are worthy of love and respect. Remember that, and it will change how you see yourself and the rest of the world around you.

 

 

 

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The Fear of Love

Tim Jackson —  July 23, 2012 — 8 Comments

I recently chatted with a young woman who survived growing up in a dangerous home with an evil father. Oh, he looked normal enough to outsiders—kept a job, paid the bills, went to church, and played the part for the public—but in private, he was a cruel, sadistic beast who preyed upon the insecurities of his wife and children.

How did she survive? She became a runner. She learned how to outdistance the problem, literally and emotionally.

In junior and senior high school, she ran track. She was a fierce competitor. She’d had lots of practice. Putting distance between herself and a threatening adversary became second nature not only on the track, but also off the track in her relationships.

Now that she’s found a good man who—unlike her dad—can be trusted, she’s discovered that she just can’t stop running. She readily admits the undeniable longing for love deeply embedded in her heart. But while that desire entices her, it terrifies her even more!

Why? Because she’s realizing that running has become a way of life.

The truth is, all relationships are risky and have the potential for both pain and pleasure. Running is her way to manage that potential for pain in her relationships. Admittedly, it helped her survive an abusive situation, but now it’s sabotaging her potential for joy in a relationship with a man who truly loves her.

It’s her fear of love that’s paralyzing her from moving forward.

John Eldredge wrote in Wild at Heart, “The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it” (p. 106).

Oddly enough, for many it’s the fear of losing love that shuts love down before it even has a chance to take root and grow.

This young woman’s fear of intimacy, of getting close, of finally being loved paralyzes her heart, preventing her from exchanging her running shoes for a pair of dancing shoes.

For many who have suffered the torment of growing up in an abusive home, their capacity to trust others to deeply love and care for them and not leave them is greatly diminished. They find it next to impossible to believe anyone will stay in their lives for an extended time, much less for a lifetime. They are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, dashing their hopes for a meaningful relationship yet again.

The solution for many is, “Just don’t get close to anyone. Outdistance the pain. Never commit. Keep moving, and you’ll never feel the pain of abandonment or abuse again.”

Unfortunately it works for a while . . . with some of the pain. But it’s a thief. It steals. It kills. And it destroys one’s opportunity to playfully splash around in the refreshing waters of committed love.

But there is hope. The antidote to our fear is perfect love. The problem is we are not perfectly loved. Or are we?

John, the apostle of love, said it best: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18 NIV). It’s God’s perfect love for us that can infuse us with the courage necessary to take the risk of loving others. And that’s the antidote that can transform any of us from “runners” to “lovers.” John’s words are a necessary reminder when we panic and start lacing up our running shoes. “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

So, what shoes are you wearing these days? Running shoes or dancing shoes? I love to hear your thoughts and stories.

 

 

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Exploited Sexuality

Tim Jackson —  November 21, 2011 — 6 Comments

As a follow up to my post last week about the PSU sexual abuse scandal, I’ve been painfully reminded of how often we refuse to talk about things that really matter, things shrouded in secrecy that are just too uncomfortable for us to discuss without stepping on toes or seeming to be insensitive. Frankly, these are not topics of polite conversation.

But when we don’t talk about them, when we don’t bring them into the light, they continue to fester and breed like an untreated cancer in the clandestine shadows of secrecy. And people get hurt. Children get hurt. And none of us should ever be okay with that.

So we’re uncomfortable.

My first thought is: “I’m uncomfortable with it.” I take no joy in writing about this in a blog. I’d much rather be talking about last weeks Penn State football game with Ohio State than the sexual abuse scandal that still engulfs that campus.

My second thought is: “Too bad.” It’s about time we learn to deal with our discomfort and engage in the real battles for the hearts and souls of people who are at risk and being exploited. And if we’re honest, that means both the abused and the abusers.

And that makes me feel really uncomfortable. But that’s where people of faith are most needed to stand up and be counted as “salt and light” (Matt. 5:13-16) in a very dark and unsavory place.

Sexual abuse is just one of those banned topics in church.

Several recent blogs highlight the trouble we’ve had in being honest with ourselves and dealing with our discomfort in speaking openly about tough issues. Dan Allender’s blog, JoePa and Sermon Selection, frankly brings to light how uncomfortable pastors have been and still are when it comes to addressing the issue of sexual abuse in church.

Thom Rainer, in his blog to Church leaders, Sex Scandals, Penn State, and Protecting Our Children, writes about sexual abuse and doing everything we can as a faith community to prevent it from happening on our watch as well as dealing quickly and decisively when it is exposed.

But sexual abuse is only one strain of the world wide epidemic of exploited sexuality.

Sexuality has been hijacked by the enemy of our souls. Satan, as part of his cunning strategy for defacing the image of God in men and woman alike, demeaning and defrauding  sexuality in a myriad of ways. Remember, Jesus identified Satan’s lethal agenda as to “steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10). Why would we not think that includes our sexuality?

Sexual exploitation, in all it’s forms–from advertising, media programing, the ever-widening spectrum of pornographic images, the vulgar and demeaning language that has become common place in music, social media, and on middle school campuses, sexual abuse, and the plague of human sexual trafficking–are a coordinated attack on the beauty of God Himself that He breathed into our sexuality.

I would contend that we have problems with sexual abuse because of the sexual tsunami that has reeked havoc on the world of gender, both male and female, in a post-Fall world. And this is nothing new.

The Bible records story after story of sexual exploitation (just to name a few: Gen. 19:4-13, 30-38; 38:11-26; Judges 19:22-30; 2 Sam. 11:1-27; 13:1-34; Luke 7:36-50; John 4:7-30; 8:4-11). These disruptive stories have all too often been ignored for the more palatable passages of scripture that are–shall we say–less disturbing.

But just stop for a moment and think about it.

Why would God intentionally record these stories of sexual exploitation in sacred text?

I can think of a few reasons why He’s not silent on this topic, and I’m sure there are more:

  1. Because He doesn’t want us to be silent on the topic.
  2. Because of His great love for victims of sexual exploitation.
  3. Because His intention is to bring healing and hope to victims of sexual exploitation.

If this it true, then people of faith can no longer remain silent on these topics.  We must be at the forefront of addressing them. Instead of reserving that discussion for a counselor’s office or a courtroom,  we must speak more openly and honestly about the destructive forces at work regarding the exploitation of both male and female sexuality on all fronts in our culture.

That’s my take on it all. How about you? Let me hear your voices. Speak up and let others know that it’s time to break the conspiracy of silence. Let’s join our voices together.

 

 

 

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Sexual Abuse Scandal

Tim Jackson —  November 16, 2011 — Leave a comment

It has been hard to miss the top news story of the past 14 days on US media outlets–the child sexual abuse scandal that has rocked the campus of Penn State University, engulfing a prestigious football program, it’s coaches, and administration. The University has come under fire for how the current coaches and staff handled the alleged sexual abuse of young boys by a former PSU coach.

As a boy, I grew up an hour away from State College, Pennsylvania. I’ve rooted for Penn State football for the last 50 years. It’s hard to describe the thoughts and feelings that have been pulsating through me for the past two weeks.

Disbelief. Disgust. Grief. Outrage. Shock. To name a few.

But primarily? Heartache.

As a counselor who has spent hundreds of hours helping many men and women work through their past of childhood sexual abuse–dealing with the trauma, the pain, the shame, the secrets, and the long-term devastation of abuse–to rebuild productive lives, I am angry.

Angry that anyone–no matter what their status is within any organization–from janitors to presidents–would allow any form of suspected child abusive behavior to go on without it being quickly exposed to the proper authorities and decisively addressed, so that first and foremost the children are protected and those responsible are held accountable.

But, in spite of how I feel, I must reserve judgment for those who know all the evidence in the case. I simply don’t know what really happened. What I do know is the allegations I hear reported in the media and the published grand jury report. And, make no mistake about it, the allegations are bad.

But, there is a process that cannot be hijacked in the media’s court of public opinion. I can quickly jump to conclusions about what has happened and what should or shouldn’t be done to those involved without knowing the full details of the case. That’s what trials are for.

My concern is that in the media feeding frenzy for the most salacious story out there, that what gets whipped up in the watching audience is a lynch mob mentality that is dangerous.

It’s clear what is needed: protection for children and justice for those who abuse them.

I know my own weakness and my snap judgement without ample evidence can quickly cross the invisible ethical line between seeking justice and justifying revenge. God reminds me that none of us are qualified for the task of vengeance–not by a long shot. That’s His realm exclusively. Mortals need not apply.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Rom. 12:19, 20)

James 1:19, 20 also provides a well heeded warning:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

But lest we think that God takes abuse lightly, consider Jesus’ own words in Luke 17:1, 2 regarding those who would dare to harm a child:

“Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.”

The allegations and charges of child abuse are serious. The coverup is evidence that something is seriously broken and needs to be fixed. The power and money that the big business of college sports wields is a challenging force that must be harnessed lest it run wild and unbridled. Hopefully, this scandal will bring that conversation to the forefront as well.

And finally, I’ve heard more public appeals and witnessed more examples of public prayer for all the victims involved in this situation than I’ve seen since 9/11. That is telling. In times of pain and desperation when we need wisdom to know how to respond to a tragic situation that is unimaginable in it’s scope and destruction, we naturally turn to the only true source of comfort, strength, and wisdom.

Let’s pray together that we will all strive  . . . “To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8). If we do, then something good will begin to take root and grow out of a horribly destructive and dark situation.

 

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” -Bob Marley

Allison Stevens —  October 12, 2011 — 10 Comments

This quote from Bob Marley (1945-1981) caught my attention because it’s poignant, true, honest, pure.

It leaves me questioning, who is worth suffering for?

My children of course; that one is easy.

But must I suffer for someone who has evil intentions towards me, someone who is hurting the essence of who I am?

I don’t think so and this is why:

Our dignity is all you and I really have. When that is assaulted, we choose whether to protect it or allow it to be destroyed.  

We suffer to spread good things like love, faith, and kindness. When we suffer for these things, we’re spreading goodwill to all men, not promulgating evil.  Here are two sets of examples that some of us have been face with. Choose which group you’d suffer for.

Example set 1:  Do you suffer for the husband who is so absentminded that he forgets your anniversary?  Do you suffer for the wife who frequently burns your toast? Do you suffer for the husband or wife who can’t keep the house clean to your liking or who lost his or her job due to down-sizing? Do you suffer for the spouse who, because of past sexual abuse, really struggles in the area of physical intimacy? Do you suffer for and with the spouse battling cancer?

Example set 2:  Do you suffer for the husband who hits you? Do you suffer for the wife who mocks you and laughs at your attempts to make a connection with her? Do you suffer for the husband who turns every argument around making it all about you and how you’ve failed?  Do you suffer for the wife who calls you horrible names? Do you suffer for the spouse who withholds affection and emotional closeness from you even though you’ve done nothing to warrant that kind of withdrawal?

The difference between the two sets of examples is one of intentionality. The purpose of the second group is to belittle, put down, degrade, control, to assault your dignity. The first group is being human; while the second group is being. . . well, downright evil. Evil seeks to put people in prisons. Love sets us free.

If love sets us free, then let love set you free from an abusive relationship. You’re not obligated to hang around for your spouse (or anyone) to completely destroy your sense of identity. Your dignity – protect it and you’ll be free.

 

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When it’s unwise to confront

Jeff Olson —  September 1, 2011 — 3 Comments

I was talking to a mother whose adult daughter has grown unfriendly and cold towards her. When she tries talking to her daughter about it, it doesn’t go well. She blows up at her mother and turns mean.

This mother is beginning to realize that, for now, it’s unwise to press the issue. She’s making the painful realization that’s reflected in Proverbs 9:7-8:

“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you…”

These words are a good reminder that sometimes it is unwise and even potentially harmful to reason, debate, and even press the issue with certain people.

Some people are of the mindset that their perception of reality is the only perception that counts. In their limited view of reality, there is no room for them to consider another person’s point of view. Plus, they tend to be so self-deceived that they truly believe their own distorted perception of reality. They’re absolutely convinced they are right and no one is going to tell them otherwise. In their minds, the only option is to agree with them. If we don’t, chances are good that they will insult and abuse us. We become the enemy and they are the victim.

Wisdom recognizes that those with this mindset aren’t ready to have an honest and helpful conversation.

The Proverb, of course, is not saying that someone like this mother should ignore and stay clear of close-minded, hurtful people. While it often requires us to be as shrewd as a serpent and as innocent as a dove, there are still ways to interact with a person like this. The Proverb is simply warning us that taking certain approaches aren’t helpful like they are with those are open to consider another person’s point of view (Proverbs 9: 8-9).

 

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Honoring an abusive parent

Jeff Olson —  March 24, 2011 — 28 Comments

Someone recently asked me how can an adult child “honors” an emotionally abusive parent. Sadly, it’s an important question that many face. While there isn’t a blanket answer because each situation is different, there are some general thoughts to think through that apply to nearly every situation.

There is no question that the Bible teaches the importance of honoring our parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:2-3). It is not a matter to be taken lightly. To honor our parents, however, does not mean that we should ignore or tolerate their abusive behavior. In fact, ignoring and tolerating abuse would be dishonoring and unloving.

Unfortunately, many adults who have been abused by their parents as children allow emotional abuse to continue for fear of being completely cut-off and abandoned by their parents. It seems that some would rather put up with their parents abuse than to be ignored and abandoned by their parents. To be abandoned by one’s parents seems to be a greater pain and therefore is avoided at all costs, even if that means allowing the abuse to continue.

When a person continues to tolerate emotional abuse from their parents by ignoring it and maybe hoping things will improve, they are neither loving nor honoring their parents. If that person were to honestly examine their motives, they would most likely see that they are not motivated by a desire to love their parents but rather by a desire to keep themselves safe from the deeper pain of being abandoned. And without even knowing it, they are actually contributing to the problem with their silence. Their silence enables rather than stands against further emotional abuse. That’s not what is best for themselves or their parents, therefore it’s not love.

The Bible calls Christians to a love that is without hypocrisy, that is to hate what is evil and cling to what is good, both in ourselves and others (Rom.12:9). In a situation where a parent is emotionally abusive love often asks the question “What is wrong within the person that needs to be disrupted so that good and life can start to emerge?” In almost every instance, this involves drawing strong lines that say “It’s no longer okay for you to abuse me.”

Check out the following video insights by Larry Crabb and Gene Getz on setting boundaries and honoring difficult parents:

http://www.helpformylife.org/Products/How-Do-I-Set-Healthy-Boundaries-In-A-Relationship-%28Video-Insight%29__VATR007I007.aspx

http://www.helpformylife.org/Products/How-Do-You-Honor-A-Difficult-Parent-p—emGene-Getzem-%28Video-Insight%29__VATR006I048.aspx

 

 

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Public support of a teacher who has sex with his student

Allison Stevens —  November 22, 2010 — 12 Comments

Had no idea what to write about this morning until I read my online local newspaper this morning.  Headline:  Supporters of teacher who had sex with student flood judge.

A 32-year old teacher had sex with one of his 15-year old students (at a Christian school!) and he was sentenced to 8 to 40 years in prison. He cried in the courtroom saying how sorry he was for what he’d done.  He received over 100 letters of support from people around the country, asking the judge for leniency. According to the newspaper, principals, teachers, nurses, and youth workers wrote letters stating that this teacher was not a predator, not a monster, not a long-term threat, but could continue to have a positive impact on other’s lives. They apparently wrote that he is one of the best teachers they’ve ever seen and that their children benefited from having him as their teacher. One person wrote that he thinks he is a model of Christian faith, despite his actions. Parents and students apparently loved this guy; they didn’t know what side of the courtroom to sit on, they said, because they wanted to support both the teacher and the student. Right.

Did anyone care about how the victim and her family might feel?

Apparently not. The people gushed over this teacher. One woman said that she would have her children be in his classroom in a heartbeat. She thinks he’s just a man who lost his way and that nothing good will come from his being in jail.

No, no one who loves this man cares one bit about this young girl. The newspaper reports that the victim and her family feel ostracized. Of course they do!  They feel completely abandoned and alone. She’s left the school and attending another.

Isn’t it ironic that the victim is the one they’ve left by the side of the road and they run to the one who “beat her up” and left her there? Is it because he’s crying and saying he’s sorry? What, do they want her to stand up real quick, dust herself off, and say, “Oh, Mr. So-and-so, it’s OK, I know you’re sorry. I forgive you.”

What about this girl?!  She’s hurting!  He hurt her! What about her pain? I’m sickened and appalled at these people who call themselves Christians who are so open and public about their support of this man who hurt her! They’re willing to sacrifice this young girl so that they can protect this man. I don’t even know what to say about this except that this is evil at work.

They should be open about their support of this girl, not this man who took advantage of one of his students. The victim’s father asked a pointed question of the two pastors’s who wrote letters of support for the teacher. He asked if it was their 15 year old daughter that he had sex with, if they would have asked the judge for mercy.  Neither pastor responded. Hm. That says a lot doesn’t it. Where is the love?

Sexual assault, rape, incest, sexual abuse; these all carry with it such a deep level of shame. The blame immediately goes inward. And to make it all worse, people like the supporters of this teacher blame the victim. They blame the victim by publicly supporting the man.

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Leaving is Love

Allison Stevens —  November 1, 2010 — 15 Comments

I’d like to share my perspective on abusive relationships.

If a wife is married to an abusive husband, she is not safe. If a marriage is categorized as abusive, it’s dangerous. There are not degrees of safety. That’s like saying that living in a cage with a lion has degrees of danger; it just matters how much the lion gnaws on your leg as to how dangerous it is. No, if you’re in that cage, you’re in harms way.

And the best option for her is to find a safe plan to leave. Sadly, by the numbers of women who’ve been murdered by their estranged husbands, this doesn’t guarantee safety. However, for the majority, leaving a precarious relationship can help a woman begin a new life of freedom and dignity that she had long forgotten.

We act as if we can give permission to abused spouses to leave their marriages only if it’s “really bad” and only if you do it out of a heart of love. I say, abuse is always really bad and love is always there whether you’re aware of it or not.  If a woman leaves a mean man, only for the reason that he’s mean, she is doing it for love; love for herself, her children, and maybe even a rudimentary love for her husband. Love isn’t always as evolved as we want it to be, but it’s love just the same. Leaving is love because she’s seeking dignity by doing so; hers and his.  

We’re missing a pivotal point if we put the burden on the abused spouse when we tell her that she shouldn’t separate because the abuse isn’t bad enough, or that her abusive husband is willing to go to counseling (most abusers are!). In an article I read that was referenced in the last blog, it said that in abusive relationships, “it is sometimes healthy and wise to separate.” (italics added) I wish it had read, “It is usually healthy and wise to separate.” We talk about abusive relationships as if we’re granting some sort of sanction to a small percentage of battered women that “well, mostly it’s good to stay in an abusive relationship, but there are times when it’s healthy to leave.”  What?  I think it’s just the opposite.  Mostly it’s appropriate to separate. I just wish we’d end the pressure we put on abused wives to keep putting up with the abuse.

I’m all for healing from abuse, healing for the abuser, and restoration in marriage! I believe in it and I know God changes hearts so that a husband and wife can live in freedom and with dignity. And I don’t think that what I’m saying contradicts the Jesus I know. God loves us and sent His only Son to die for us! Why would He want us to willingly live in abusive homes when we live in a country where freedom is there for anyone? I just don’t think the burden we put on abused spouses is right. Domestic violence is illegal and we’ve got to realize that the laws of our land regarding domestic violence align with Scripture about how we are to treat one another.

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A Silent Killer

Tim Jackson —  August 28, 2010 — Leave a comment

Google the words Silent Killer and the website that pops up first says:

Many diseases are silent killers in that they are silent (no symptoms or only vague symptoms), and that they are deadly. There are a number of diseases that are known as “silent killers” because they gradually consume you without causing any serious symptoms in the early stages. Regular medical checkups and early diagnosis of unexplained or vague symptoms can safe your life.

Hypertension, better known as high blood pressure, is often considered one of the major “silent killer” diseases. If left undetected,  it can reek havoc on your physical well being and will eventually destroy your health from the inside out.

But the same is true for our emotional health and well being too. It’s often the things we don’t talk about–our secrets that we stuff down deep–that eventually erode our sense of personal security and our stability in our most cherished relationships.

What got me thinking about this is a new book that I’ve been reading to prepare for an upcoming HelpForMyLife video shoot on a topic that is rarely talked about: the childhood sexual abuse of men. It use to be that no one ever talked about sexual abuse. Period. You just didn’t bring it up. Frankly, it’s not that it wasn’t going on, but just that no one was courageous enough to talk about it.

But 25 years ago the sexual abuse of women started to be discussed, uncovering a major blight on society. All of a sudden, the topic was out there on the talk shows, in seminars, featured on news outlets, and in educational curriculum. The issue of the past sexual abuse of women and it’s impact on adult relationships was making it’s way out of the shadows and into the light where we now see clearly that any where from 25-40% of women experience some form of sexual abuse by the time they reach the age of 18.

But, there’s been little in print or in the public forum about the sexual exploitation of little boys who later grow up to be men who bear the effects of sexual abuse. But that’s starting to change. And that’s a good thing.

Cecil Murphey is a successful author who has written or co-written over 119 books. By anyone’s standards, that’s a bunch. But Cec (as he likes to be called) admits “unquestionable, this book is the hardest book I’ve ever written.” Although he’s come a long way in his own healing journey and recovery, writing about male sexual abuse meant writing about his own story and struggles with his abusive past.

Check out Cecil’s book, When A Man You Love Was Abused. If you’re a man who has never dared tell his story of past abuse, Cecil’s book may be the tool you need to encourage you to step into the light. If you’re a woman who loves a man with a past of sexual abuse, you too will find godly encouragement and practical help in helping your man face, battle with, and overcome childhood sexual molestation.

You can also read comments on Cecil’s  blog, from other men who have courageously taken the first steps of breaking the silence about their childhood sexual abuse. And watch for future posts and the upcoming round table discussions and insights from Cecil and the HFML team.

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