We’re attending the funeral for the same reason we’ve called and texted our friend over the past week. He loved his brother dearly, and he’s reeling from such a profound and sudden loss. We can’t begin to take away the pain of his loss, but our presence is a small but meaningful way to rally around our friend and show that we care.

Jesus modeled how important the presence of others is during a time of grief. The night He was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, when His soul was crushed with grief to the point of death, Jesus asked a few of His disciples to sit and pray with him (Matthew 26:36-38). They couldn’t take His grief away either, but He desired, even needed their company and prayers.

Just as Jesus needed others to be with Him in His time of need—we need others too. Having others around comforts a grieving heart more than we know.

The particular brand of aspirin I take etches the shape of a small heart on the side of the pill. At first I thought it was corny. But every time I see it, it reminds me that I’m taking this little pill for the good of my heart.

Just as it’s good to take care of our physical heart, it’s also good to take care of a different kind of “heart.” I’m referring to that unseen place inside each of us that houses our deepest desires, hopes, convictions, and feelings. It’s that place within us where we experience the deepest joys and heartaches of life.

The heart is the center of who we really are. That’s why the book of Proverbs puts a high priority on taking care of it:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
(Proverbs 4:23)

During this Christmas season and even as you enter the New Year, take some time to care for your heart that Jesus was born to rescue and renew. Take a break from the frenetic pace of life and give yourself time to breathe again.

Maybe grab some solitude. Read a good book. Reconnect with a friend or relative.

Do whatever you need to do to tend to your heart. It is the central part of who you are. It is the place out of which you love God and others.

Kevin, who recently received high praise for his heroic role in the Jesus-centered film Soul Surfer, had the following to say about recovering from his illness:

“‘Before my illness I was fully preoccupied with the material side of life. Moving at the speed of light, I ignored the spiritual side, the unseen. But being sidelined with time to spare, I had a lot of conversations with God and told him my problems.

Kevin’s reflections are a good reminder to us all. It’s important to talk to God about the problems in our lives. Invite Him into what’s going on, share what’s on our hearts, and listen for His Spirit to minister to our hearts.

We can’t “see” God, but if we slow down enough we can discover He’s there to talk it through.

“In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free.” –Psalm 118:5 NLT

In an attempt to survive a time of feeling let down by others or myself, I’ve immersed myself in spiritual disciplines like prayer and scripture reading. I’ve even listened to a few Jesus centered tunes to soothe my soul. At the time, it may have looked good on the outside, but inside I wasn’t really looking for Jesus and what he wanted to show me in my situation. I was looking for a distraction. I was simply looking to busy myself with something so I didn’t have think about or feel the weight of my hurt.

Bottom line—I wanted t get as far away from the hurt as possible…and Jesus was going to help me.

Over the course of my walk with Jesus, however, I’ve learned that following Him is not about denying the reality of our pain and sorrow. Instead, it is to lean into it. After all, Jesus Himself was no stranger to pain and sorrow (Isa.53:3, Lk.22:44). He felt the heartache of life, and felt it deeply.

Jesus didn’t come to numb our souls. He came to bring us life (John 10:10). And to be fully alive in a broken world involves facing our pain, not running from it.

In his book, Befriending the Stranger, Jean Vanier (founder of L’Arche) shared this gripping exchange he once had with a man who was in prison:

“I remember my visit to a top security prison in Kingston, Ontario. I told the prisoners about the men and women we have welcomed in l’Arche–their pain, their sense of failure and rejection, their depression, sometimes their self-mutilation…I knew that I was in fact telling them their own story, the story of their lives, their experience of rejection, grief, insecurity, and failure.”

“At the end of my talk one of the inmates got up and screamed at me: ‘You! You’ve had an easy life! You do not understand what we are living! When I was four years old, I saw my mother raped right in front of me! When I was seven, I was sold by my father for sex. When I was thirteen the police came to get me. If anyone else comes into this prison to talk about love I will kick his bloody head in!’”

Jean Vanier continued, “I listened to him but did not know what to say or do. It was as if he had me against the wall. I prayed and then I said: ‘It’s true what you say. I do not know what you have lived. But what I do know is that everything you have just told me is important. People outside the prison often judge you without knowing your pain…’”

“When the question time was over I went up to the man and I shook his hand. I asked him his name…I was inspired to ask him whether he was married and when he said ‘Yes’ I asked him to tell me about his wife. This man who had been so violent, who had seemed to have such hatred in him, broke down in tears. He told me about his wife, who was in Montreal in a wheelchair. He had not seen her for two years! I was in front of a wounded, vulnerable little child, weeping, crying out for love and tenderness.”

Vanier went on to add, “In the midst of all the violence and corruption of the world, God invites us today to create new places of belonging, places of sharing, of peace and kindness, places where no-one needs to defend himself or herself; places where each one is loved and accepted with one’s own fragility, abilities and disabilities.”

I don’t know  of a more powerful way to show the heart of Jesus than to give hurting and lost people from all walks of life a place to belong.  A place where issues are addressed, but only once love and non-condemning friendships are established (Lk. 19:1-9; John 8:1-11). A place where they are not judged and singled-out, but rather befriended and eventually encouraged to pursue a relationship with Jesus, and through His grace become all He intends for them to be.

BTW…L’Arche (a network of communities Jean Vanier established for those with intellectual disabilities ) is the the French word for Noah’s Ark.

As Bethany was re-learning how to surf competitively with one arm, her father explained the difficult challenge before her. To which Bethany replied, “I don’t need easy. I just need possible.”

Wow! What a challenging statement for us all to consider.

As much as we would like there to be, there isn’t an “easy” button to push when were facing the hard challenges of life. But difficult doesn’t equal impossible. While certain parts of life may seem impossible, Jesus offered the hope that “What is impossible with men is possible with God” (Lk. 18:27).

Later, the young child then asked, “Daddy, who do you love the most, Jesus or me?” The father told his daughter that he loved Jesus the most, because without Jesus, he couldn’t love his children as much as he does.

What a great answer. It parallels the words of another father figure once wrote to a group of Christians he considered his “dear children” (1 John 2:1). The Apostle John wrote, “We love each other because He loved us first” (1 John 4:19 NLT).

Who do you love the most?

After many other suggestions, Moody picked up a pitcher and filled the glass with water.

“There,” he said, “all the air is now removed.” He then explained that freedom from a sinful habit does not come by working hard to eliminate it, but rather by the allowing the Holy Spirit to take full possession of us.

Is there a sinful habit in your life that you can’t to get rid of, no matter how hard you try? Maybe you should stop striving so hard to eliminate your out of control problem. Generally speaking, we don’t need more self-effort and self-regulation. What we need more of is to humble ourselves before God so that He can fill us with His Spirit.

The more we occupy ourselves with Jesus the less room there is for sin to occupy us.

To read more about freedom from addictions, Check out the Discovery Series Bible Study Released! http://www.dhp.org/Products/Released-Understanding-and-Overcoming-Addiction-%E2%80%94-Study-Guide__Q4066.aspx

Eldredge wrote that Jesus’ “ability to navigate praise, then hatred, false flattery, then adoring crowds, vicious slander and then people who simply don’t care — all with a grace and a sense of self that was simply stunning. Here was one grounded man.”

Yes indeed…Jesus was one centered dude.

Eldredge’s observations about Christ made me ask myself, “What am I grounded in?” Perhaps a better question to ask is “Who am I grounded in?” & “How am I staying grounded?”

In order to stay grounded, Eldredge suggested, “Cut the insane busyness. Do not live for tweets, texts, Facebook or email. Unplug the TV. Read Christian writers…Practice solitude and silence (five minutes a day will rescue you)…Get back in the Scriptures.”

Sounds likes some good ways to become and stay grounded.

No matter what we are going through, intentionally abiding in Christ and staying centered in His truth and grace is the best place to be. It may not change our circumstances, but it will help us be who we truly are in Him.

He was 100% committed to what he referred to as his “body of work.” This body of work had one goal in mind: to save more children’s lives by raising as much money as he possibly could for St. Jude’s Hospital. John never veered from that purpose. He said that in each task, he reminded himself why he was there. He said that he must have said the words “St. Jude’s Hospital” 100 times in one week.

He admitted that at times he was tempted to get involved in the “drama” going on with the people. He said that yes, there were a few times that he wanted to say something to someone about something, but that he chose not to because he didn’t want to distract from his charity. He was there for one reason and one reason only – to raise money for St. Jude’s. The frosting on the cake is that because he had such focus, oneness of mind and integrity, he also made friends with everyone on the set.

When I heard John’s comments, I was immediately struck by his tenacity, his doggedness, his determination, his drive. He was a man on a mission who couldn’t be stopped. He was stubborn!

Then as quick as that thought came, another one followed:  I want to be like that in my Christian commitment. I want to see more lives come to know Jesus and be won over by Him! I want to be 100% committed to loving others and God well so that the vision of more people coming to Christ can be realized. I don’t want anything to get in the way of that, whether it is gossip, materialism, lust, or any kind of unhealthy self-protection.

My prayer is that I won’t be distracted by evil things or lesser things. I pray that my focus will be on living what I believe and sharing Jesus’ love and grace with others. Doggedly. 

I think I’m at my best when I’m living for Someone bigger than me.

(Matthew 22:37-39.)